Charmed and Dangerous
by hiding duh
Summary: Justin/Alex. Max accidentally turns Alex into an elf. And you know no one can resist one of those. Justin sure will try, though.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Charmed and Dangerous

**Fandom**: Wizards of Waverly Place

**Characters/Pairings**: Justin/Alex

**Summary**: Max accidentally turns Alex into an elf. And you know no one can resist one of those. Justin sure will try, though.

**Rating**: R

**Spoilers**: ...that one episode with Tutor.

**Word Count**: 2100

**Notes**: I saw the movie, then a handful of random episodes. I apologize if something like this actually happened on the show and/or is completely out of character.

*

There were things Justin Russo, as a good boy, simply couldn't do.

Like break rules or lie to his mother or chop his stupid little brother into stupid tiny pieces and feed him to gargoyles.

"But you can totally reverse it, right?" Max asked sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

"Hoo, no," Alex grinned, "you are so not reversing this." She casually wrapped her arms around Max—in lieu of saying thanks—then practically skipped out of the lair, radiating charisma.

Justin slowly narrowed his eyes.

"Well... we tried!" Max chirped, sending a quick salute to no one in particular, then made to escape, undetected.

Promptly, Justin dragged him back by the scruff of his neck. "Look, she _already_ gets away with murder," he grumbled, irritated, "can you even imagine what she'll be like as an—"

"Think she'll let me rule Sweden?" Max asked hopefully, the soles of his shoes scraping against the carpet.

"Why Swed—no. No. Seriously, why is no one else worried about this?"

"Eh. What's the worst that could happen?"

*

"I need your help."

Justin briefly evaluated the situation, then raised a nonchalant eyebrow, scribbling a day's worth of accounting into the ledger. "I can see that, Alex."

"_Justin_," she whined, draping herself over the counter, pushing dirty plates out of the way. She waved one hand toward the Sub Station windows, where an assortment of boys—and a few girls—stood pressed up against the glass, their glazed eyes trailing Alex's every move. "They're all here for me and it's getting really creepy."

Justin ignored her. Or, well, tried to. After all, elves did... things to him. "And?"

"I can't go out there."

He wasn't going to look at her. He was stronger than that, okay. She couldn't make him. "So, don't."

Alex hopped off the stool, obviously displeased. "Don't you _want_ to help me?" she coaxed, approaching him, then added a helpless little, "Justin?"

_Yes_, he wanted to growl, but settled on: "I did warn you, Alex."

"Yeah, well, you warn me every time," she huffed, tugging on his sleeve, "so it's not like you're new to how this works or anything." She arranged her face into the most innocent of expressions. "Justin."

Damn it. This was the part where he shouldn't have noticed that she was sort of cute today. No. She wasn't cute at all. She was obnoxious. And she totally needed to learn a lesson.

...eventually.

"Fine," he said, and immediately regretted it.

"Oh, thank you, Justin!" she grinned, grabbed a pretzel stick from the counter, then toddled off to mind her own business.

"Where are you going?"

She paused, one foot frozen mid-step, and gave him a tiny pout. "I'm thinking Daddy really wants to let me have his credit card." She chomped down on the pretzel. "So, you know. I'm not going to deny him something like that, gosh."

Justin took a deep, calming breath. "I thought you wanted me to reverse the spell."

"Shyeah. Only that part—" she beamed, gesturing vaguely toward the people plastered against the shop's windows, "—is a problem. Okay? Thanks again, Justin!"

Frustrated, Justin glanced at the boys staring wistfully through the glass—and that one girl that kept drawing giant hearts on most of the panels—then took a couple quick steps, hauling his sister back.

"Alex," he warned as she attempted to fix the scarf he'd messed up. "You know you can lose your powers over this, right?"

She held up a finger, reasoning, "No, see, technically, it's Max's spell." She shrugged a little, and Justin found his eyes drawn to her lips. "If anyone's losing their powers, it totally isn't going to be me this time."

"You're the one abusing the spell," Justin tried again, biting the inside of his cheeks. 'Cause... were her lips always so... so... oh, come on—he'd memorized the entire dictionary and he still couldn't come up with an appropriate adjective?

"Hey, I'm not _abusing_ it," she defended, but wouldn't meet his eyes. "I'm just... you know. Missapplying it a little."

"That's not a word!"

"You know what I mean!"

His hands somehow decided to clasp her shoulders. "No, I don't!"

"And I don't know what we're yelling about!"

Justin paused. Yeah. He sort of didn't know either. "Look, I'm just worried."

Alex's features softened. "Aw, that's sweet. And kinda gross. But I forgive you because elves are very forgiving. I think."

Unamused, Justin spun her around and marched her up the spiral stairway, ignoring the death glares Alex's new groupies seemed intent on sending him. Once they were out of sight, he leaned in close and said softly, mostly to himself, "You really could lose your powers."

She let him push her forward, maneuvering through the narrow hallway. "Eh. Then Max can be the family wizard. And you and me can just have a band. A real one, this time. That I get to name."

Justin's fingers dug into her shoulders. He stopped walking, and she followed suit. "Uh, and why wouldn't I have _my_ powers in this scenario?"

She turned her head slightly, smiling as though she knew something he didn't. "Because you'd never let them take my powers," she said casually. "And you'd totally do something crazy to let me keep them. And then I'd have to give mine up to save you." After a beat, she added, perfectly composed, "Not that I planned this out or anything."

Justin suspected he needed some sort of elf rehab. Since Alex was actually making sense. Not a whole lot of it, but still. "You'd give up your powers for me?" he asked quietly, and resumed pushing her towards her room.

"Um, hi?" she grumped. "Didn't I already do that once?" She shifted uncomfortably. "Or something."

Feeling oddly warm, Justin parked her in front of her room. "Let's try working on _not_ losing our powers, okay?"

She gave a small shrug, looking adorable. No—_evil_. "Fine, okay, but I'm telling you, Justin. We'd be _so_ rich and famous we could actually afford to buy you a personality."

"Yeah, yeah," he indulged her, rolling his eyes. "Try not to talk to anyone until I find a way to fix this."

"But I have this school thing I have to..." she began halfheartedly, then trailed off. "Works for me."

*

So, that part where he generally fixed everything was turning out weird.

"You know," Max bristled, sulking on the couch, "I could've turned her into a gargoyle. I don't see anyone mentioning that."

Justin skimmed over a lengthy paragraph, hunched over a thick book. "Hm?"

Max zapped some lint off the cushions, studying his wand with a pout. "I'm just saying. It could've been worse."

As if on cue, Alex stumbled into the lair, looking uncharacteristically disheveled. "Okay, this is officially not funny anymore." She dropped her books on the nearest appropriate surface... or, well, the floor, and tried to smooth down her hair. "Any progress? 'Cause I think I may be way too cute for the general public today."

Justin glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.

"Well, that's not fair," she preened to herself, "I'm always cute." She grew serious. Or less cocky, at least. "No, seriously, they tried to cut my hair. That's just wrong."

Unconcerned, Justin returned his attention to the book.

"_My hair_," she tried again, pitching her voice higher.

Yeah. It was okay. This was good. Justin was building a tolerance. He could even ignore her now.

Except for the part where his body instantly tensed the moment she sat down next to him and poked his side. "Juuustin."

Suddenly itchy, he gripped the underside of his chair and hopped it away from her, scooting to the edge of the desk. "I'm working on it."

She cocked her head, eyes narrowing. And then, a tiny figurative light bulb seemed to appear above her head. Her lips curled most wickedly and she stretched across the desk, the tips of her fingers lightly touching the page he'd been staring at.

Justin paled, leaned on his palm, studiously glaring at the book, and mumbled into his hand, "There's a potion."

She perked up, looking up at him. "Really?"

Well. Probably.

"Sure," he lied.

Her fingers ghosted down the page, playfully brushing his. "Can you make it?"

So, yeah. That was exactly why he didn't like lying. Lying was Alex's thing. "No, I—"

"So, hey," Jerry began nonchalantly, barreling into the lair, "is there a reason why my shop is full of weird people asking for the Alex Special?"

Max, who'd been lazing on the couch, tossing his wand into the air, quickly sat up. "I didn't do it."

Jerry paused for a moment. "You know, I don't actually want to know."

"Alex is an elf," Justin told his book.

"...of course she is," Jerry sighed, rubbing one eye. He mused for a bit, then pursed his lips. "The Alex Special, huh."

Max frowned. "What's the Alex Special?"

"Toasted... peanut butter and... pickles," Jerry said slowly, scheming. "Get it? 'Cause you're in a pickle and you're toast once Justin fixes this."

Justin looked up, raising one curious eyebrow.

"Ugh, Dad, that sounds all sorts of lame. And really, really gross," Alex gagged, finally sitting up properly. Justin's shoulders relaxed.

"Yes. Yes, it is," Jerry agreed. He tilted his head, contemplating. "And it costs $15." Grinning, he turned to leave, calling over his shoulder, "Max, c'mon. I think this may actually pay for Alex's college tuition."

When they disappeared beyond the lair's threshold, Justin translated: "He means it'll pay for that one semester before you drop out."

Instead of snapping back, Alex rose slowly, trailing one finger across the desk, and slid toward him like... well. An elf.

A small smirk played about her lips as she rounded his chair, hovering way too close. "So... you like elves."

Flustered, Justin bent over the book again, curling his hand around a pencil. "_Everyone_ likes them."

She pressed against his back, draping her arms over his shoulders and leaning her chin next to his cheek. "So, basically, I could ask for anything right now," she pouted, "and you'd do it."

"Pfft. No, I wouldn't," he scoffed but sounded pretty unconvincing even to himself.

Her hand dropped to the book. Lazily, she took his pencil and drew messy circles down the page. Her voice was low and sort of flirty and—crap—Justin really kind of liked it, "Yeah, you know I live for this, right?"

"Live for what?" he asked automatically.

"Torturing you," she grinned and he could feel her breath warm his cheek. "By the way, that's totally my plan B, if I lose. I'll spend my life annoying you."

His hand shot out of its own volition and caught her wrist. "I thought you said we'd start a band."

Her hair brushed against his ear. "And I thought you said you were keeping your powers."

Yeah, okay, so he'd said that. On the other hand, he'd said a lot of things. A lot of things he'd kind of hoped she wouldn't actually remember on account of that whole Stone of Dreams thing but here they were anyway.

"Alex, if you want me to reverse the spell, you're going to need to give me some space," he grumbled, releasing her wrist.

"Yeah, about that," she gave a fake sigh, tapping the pencil to the page, "I kinda like _this_, so you can go ahead and close that book, Justin."

"...you can't _stay_ an elf, Alex."

"Oh, whatever," she dismissed him easily, "I'm sure the spell will wear off." Her lips quirked into an odd half-smile as she suddenly detached herself from his back and stepped away. "Eventually."

Justin squirmed.

"Until then," she continued with a coy grin, "there's something I want you to do for me."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes**: I'm so sorry, Justin.

*

So, he'd had plans.

He was going to write books about his adventures with Alex and Max, or tour the world, beating robots at chess. Those were good, solid, sensible plans.

"I have a list," Alex said, whipping out a crumpled note. "For when you finally came over to the dark side."

Yeah, that didn't sound good or solid or sensible.

Still shaken, Justin made a point of not staring at her face. "Yeah, I'm not," he air-quoted, " 'on your side,' Alex—"

She ignored him completely. "And if there's anything I hate more than reading, it's writing, so you should appreciate this," she said, shoving her messy list in his face. "First, we go shopping."

Justin batted her hand away. He meant to say something about the scientific community upgrading Pluto back to a planet before _that _happened, but all that came out was, "Where?"

"The mall." She had the decency to notice his horrified look, then added, "I need someone to carry my stuff. And to... _buy _me stuff." She tugged on his sweater. "Buy me stuff, Justin."

"With what?" he grumbled, but didn't particularly bother to swat her away. "My tears?"

"That is also on my list, yes," she grinned, absentmindedly running her fingers up and down his arm. "We'll use magic."

"That's stealing," he started, but she raised an eyebrow and his mouth seemed to not want to work anymore.

"...which is why you'll be doing it instead of me," she said, as though it was the most logical—and least criminal—statement in the world.

"Okay," he agreed, 'cause, come on. She wouldn't really steal. He hoped. She probably had some sort of crazy plan, and he just needed to go with it. If nothing else, to bail her out. He had a hidden stash just for such a—

"What the hell am I saying?" he shouted, coming to his senses. Stupid freakin' elves. "You can't use magic like that, Alex!"

Surprisingly, her face darkened. She averted her eyes, staring at the floor. "Better use it now."

He gave her a blank look.

" 'Cause, you know," she continued, grumpy, "we won't have powers forever."

A low-grade panic tightened Justin's stomach, but he pushed it away. "That's not an excuse to—"

"Look, Justin," she snapped impatiently, "there's a... I'm gonna say thirty? Thirty percent chance I won't be a wizard in a few years."

"...did you pass math last semester?"

"I don't know. Was math my second period class? 'Cause I didn't exactly go to that one."

He was finding her infuriating and endearing at the same time, and that was just... stupid. "Alex—"

"And I don't want them if you don't have them," she said, her words coming out in a jumbled rush. "But I don't want you to have them if I don't have them." After a beat, she elaborated, "I'm talking about powers here, Justin, work with me."

It was an elf thing. It had to be an elf thing. Because Justin sort of wanted to kiss his sister. Kiss her until she wasn't related to him anymore.

Instead, he focused on not letting his voice crack when he asked, "Which mall do you want to go to?"

Her face brightened, and yup, he still wanted to kiss her. "Somewhere far," she grinned. "Where no one knows us. Ooh, a Canadian mall?" She paused, grabbing her jacket. "They have malls in Canada, right?"

Justin watched her carefully. "Why do you want to go somewhere where no one—"

She paused for a moment, then shrugged casually. "Well, you know. In case you get caught stealing..." She grabbed the nearest book, and enchanted the pages to appear like Canadian dollars—oh, God, they were going to be hunted down by the FBI, like, any second now— "There. Problem solved. Awesome. We can buy more with Canadian dollars, right?"

"...Alex," he said mournfully, "I really think you should go to your math classes."

She shot him a killer smile. "Pssh, less talking, more teleporting."

And then, the evil must have temporarily left Alex and possessed Justin, because he actually wrapped his arms around her, closed his eyes, and mumbled a charm.

*

She was going to cause an international incident. And then Canada was going to go to war with the US. And then Justin was going to be drafted and _die_.

Seriously, what was he thinking, bringing an elf to a place populated with _boys_?

"I'm going for it," one of the boys said.

Another boy held him back. "Dude, she's with her boyfriend!"

Justin noticed Alex didn't bother correcting them.

"I'm hungry," she said instead, seemingly oblivious to the line of guys forming behind her. She tapped her fingers to the table they'd staked out, scanning the food court. "Is anyone looking? No? Okay." A paper plate appeared, full to bursting with the kind of junk food Max would love.

"_Alex_," Justin hissed nervously.

She tinkered with her phone for a moment, then smiled wickedly. "That's so going to be my new ringtone." She hit Play, and the phone screeched: "_Alex_." She glanced at his horror-stricken face, grinned, then snapped his picture. "Aaand that's my new wallpaper."

Several boys, sitting opposite their chattering girlfriends, shot Justin commiserating glances.

_Nooo_, he wanted to tell them, _she's my little sister_, but somehow, that sounded worse.

"Alex," he began, after he calmed down, "you know this is completely—"

"—inedible," she gagged, spitting out a conjured onion ring. "Here, taste."

She stuck a fry into his mouth. The tips of her fingers touched his lips. And Justin sort of forgot what he was going to complain about. "It's not... bad."

Alex drew back, looking oddly satisfied. "So, now that you're in love with me—"

Justin choked.

"—there are a few things I thought I should warn you about if you want this to work."

Alarmed, Justin wiped at his mouth, eyes impossibly wide. "What?"

Alex poked his hand with a plastic spork. "First thing you need to avoid," she lectured, looking as though she thought a halo was framing her head, "is doing all the lame things you usually do. 'Cause you get stupid when you're in love."

"That's great," he snapped, "except I'm not in love."

She raised an eyebrow, thinking, then said, "Oh, no? Hey, get me a soda. From Argentina."

He jumped instantly, rising with purpose, then forced himself to sit back down. "That is completely unhealthy," he mumbled to himself.

A woman edged around him, tugging a small child behind.

"Mommy, what's wrong with that boy—"

The woman tugged faster. "Shh, don't look."

Justin resisted the urge to bury his face in his hands. Or, really, just bury himself, period. "We're never coming back to Canada."

Alex pursed her lips. "Fine, if you're going to be like this, we may as well go home."

He perked up.

"After you ride the carousel with me."

*

"Right on time for dinner," Theresa greeted cheerfully as they popped back in.

Justin exhaled as though he'd spent a thousand years roaming the driest desert, then extricated his sister from his arms. "I'm not hungry."

"How's Aunt Meg?" Jerry asked, pretending to read the newspaper.

Justin blinked. "Yes... Aunt Meg. That's... what we did," he said slowly, narrowing his eyes at Alex.

"She sends her regards," Alex lied easily, turning to Theresa and waving over her shoulder, "and a plague on your house, Dad."

"That's nice," Jerry nodded, turning a page.

Max looked up from his mashed potatoes. "You smell like french fries."

"Well," Alex reasoned, claiming her chair, "we _were_ in Paris."

"Oh, yeah," Max accepted, "that makes sense."

Justin stared for a moment, then made to leave.

"Ah-ah," Theresa pulled him back, waving a ladle in his face. "Did you turn your sister back?"

"Oh," Justin cleared his throat. "So you, um, found out, then."

Theresa smiled widely. "I started suspecting something was up when we ran out of peanut butter." Her eyes sparkled. "We can buy a new dishwasher!"

"...Alex's college tuition," Jerry reminded her with a cough.

Theresa deflated. "Oh, right. That."

"Justin's in love with me."

All eyes turned to Alex.

"What? I felt like no one was paying attention to me," she defended, and though Justin's soul had fled his body at her words, he still managed to think she was adorable.

Theresa raised both eyebrows, turning to Justin. "Is that true, Justin?"

Justin paled. "Um. No."

Jerry sighed. "Alex, leave your brother alone."

Indignant, Alex pointed at Justin, complaining, "Is it my fault he falls in love like he's a freakin' goldfish? And that I'm even cuter than Tutor?"

"Goldfish?" Max asked, putting on his thinking face.

" 'Cause they have a two-second attention span," Jerry patted his head, most likely wondering if Max was part goldfish, then turned to watch Justin. "It's just temporary, so whatever you think your brother's feeling, Alex, isn't real."

Justin's cheeks darkened. Yes. Yes. It was definitely temporary. Boy, soon as that spell wore off, he'd be back to, er... why was she staring at him like that?

"Fine," she shrugged, "but don't say I didn't warn you."

Justin's sense of self-preservation finally kicked in. "I'm gonna... go... find a counter-spell."

"That's nice, honey," Theresa smiled, as though Alex hadn't just announced to the whole family that Justin was in love with his little sister. "Who wants dessert?"

On the other hand, he supposed, his parents _had _seen weirder stuff.

And really, he'd dated a werewolf, a centaur, and a vampire, so technically, really, temporarily falling in love with his sister wasn't even the weirdest thing he'd ever done.

With an almost happy shrug, he headed upstairs.

In retrospect, he probably would've wanted to hang around a while longer.

If he had, he'd have heard his mother say, "Alex, you really shouldn't torture your brother. Much."

And he probably would've wanted to hear Alex's reply.

"Hey, it's not my fault. I haven't been an elf, in, like, five hours."


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes**: Um, please keep in mind that Alex is bad with numbers.

Thank you for reviewing, you guys! I still haven't seen most of the episodes, so I'm totally faking my way through this. Special thanks to x j a m e y and oogajunk for making me crack up.

*

So, okay, Alex had been right.

Justin was... stupid when he liked a girl. Hair sweaters came to mind.

But clearly, all of this was just an unfortunate side effect of yet another messed up stupid spell, in a long series of messed up stupid spells, so Justin sort of wasn't philosophically opposed to maybe checking out his sister's back and stuff.

She was grumpy and her hair was in a messy bun and she was glowering at him, bent over the bathroom sink, toothbrush stuck in her mouth. "Wahuuwan?"

Years of practicing Alienese with Zeke had prepared him well. "What do I want?" He scooted closer to her, piously tapping his watch. "I want you to be on time for math today."

She eyed him suspiciously for a moment, then wiped at her mouth and straightened up.

And because there was a strong—very strong; irresistible, really—spell in effect, Justin briefly wondered what Alex would taste like if they were to, you know, make out a little.

"So here are some notes..." he told the mirror instead, surprising Alex with a thick folder. "Everything's color-coded."

"Of course it is," she grumbled, but her lips kept twitching.

He observed her for a moment, fighting a lopsided grin, then frowned. "Hey, what happened to your ears?"

Her eyes widened, and she quickly undid her hair, covering her ears. Which didn't look anything like elf ears. "Oh. Um. I charmed them so they'd look normal? For school? Yeah, that's what I did." She slicked her hair down. "...yep."

Justin nodded. That made sense. ...sort of?

"Wait, how would you be able to—" he started, but Alex turned the full force of her evil on him.

"Juuustin," she whined with a pout, pushing the folder to his chest and effectively shutting him up. "What did I tell you about doing all this lame stuff?"

"Saving you from a lifetime of mathematical inadequacy is not _lame_," he argued, but let her push him out of the bathroom. "Also, you should use my calculator when—"

The door slammed in his face.

Strangely satisfied, he ambled downstairs where the rest of his family was busy preparing for the day ahead. Or, in some cases, wrestling with oversized jars.

"Peanut butter," Jerry greeted, grinning to himself.

Peripherally, Justin noticed there was no throng of fanboys or groupies or Alexheads or whatever lining up outside the shop, but was promptly distracted by his mother practically assaulting him.

"Aw, my poor _baby_," she cried and smushed his face, wetting her thumb and wiping away an imaginary smudge off Justin's cheek. "My poor, poor little man—"

Max tossed an apple in the air, catching it with a confused frown. "Uh, Mom, I thought I was your little—" he trailed off, taking advantage of her distraction and stealthily pocketing a big muffin. "It's fine, anyway, right? I mean, the spell wore o—"

An Alex-shaped blur sailed past Justin at a speed he approximated to be greater or equal to that of light.

"Max. Maxie!" Alex cooed breathlessly, clamping a hand over Max's mouth. "Can I talk to you," she smiled sweetly, kicking the boy all the way to the kitchen, "over here for a second?"

Justin raised a suspicious eyebrow.

*

Advanced physics was totally Justin's thing.

So he sat in the lab, oblivious to the rest of the world, doodling all over his equations. And hey, didn't that torque calculation totally look like Alex? If Alex could be expressed in such simple quantum formulae, that is. Which she so totally could.

...yeah. He definitely needed to work on that not being stupid thing.

"Hey."

Justin narrowed his eyes, trying to act cool while inconspicuously scanning the classroom.

"Over here."

Anxious, Justin glanced at the window. A small—apparently magical—pebble seemed to be stuck to the windowpane, waving at him.

_Alex_, he growled mentally, then kinda felt a little melty.

The pebble pointed down.

With a curious frown, Justin scooted closer.

And saw Alex waiting for him outside, fully packed and possibly ready to head an expedition to Mount Everest.

Justin smacked his forehead against the glass.

*

"I can't believe I'm missing class."

He'd meant to say that in a way an awesome, adventurous guy would have said it, but he suspected it came out extra panicky and totally uncool.

"You're not missing class," she huffed, "you're _ditching_." She thought for a moment, then slapped his forearm, snorting, "Hhh, who am I kidding? You probably are missing it, you dork."

"Alex."

"This is number four on my list," she informed him casually, consulting the wrinkled note. "This way."

With a sigh, Justin let her drag him down a skeezy Jersey street, trying to hide behind his collar and staying vigilant in case some disapproving old lady spotted them and decided to report a truancy. He really didn't want to have to wrestle any old ladies away from pay phones.

"Alex, we should go back," he complained, feet heavy. "Why are we even h—" His eyes caught on a bright green pamphlet to his left. "Um. Band tryouts?"

Alex beamed up at him, wrapping both arms around one of his. "Yeah," she told him, then checked out their surroundings as though she was scouting for Max. "And we're doing it without magic this time."

He wasn't excited, okay. And he didn't want to pull her in for a kiss or anything.

"But..." he resisted, feeling himself wear down at a rapid rate, "what about my guitar and—"

Nonchalantly, Alex twirled her wand at the ground, pointing the sparkly end at a back alley.

He gave her a pointed look as he went to pick up his guitar.

"Okay," she rolled her eyes. "No magic after _this_."

*

"Bad idea," the man said. "Couples break up bands. It's bad for business. Next."

"Wait, no, that's actually great!" Justin started enthusiastically, grabbing Alex by the shoulders and thrusting her at the balding producer type guy in front of him. "Because we're brother and s—"

Alex stepped on his foot, giving him a tight-lipped smile. "Trust me, Mr. ...um... Guy," she cajoled, and Justin conveniently pretended she wasn't an elf that could sway anyone, "I really think you should give _Burn_ a chance."

"No couples."

Justin's mouth tugged down. Why wasn't this guy bending over backwards to accommodate her when all _Justin_ wanted to do was wrap an arm around her shoulder and possibly sniff her hair.

"But we're really good," Alex added, sort of leaning against Justin.

"Yeah," Justin piped in, "we... wait. _Burn_? No. We talked about this, Alex!"

"Justin," she growled a little, "you're violating the terms of our agreement."

"What agreement?" he barked back.

Her palm pressed against his chest. "The one where you do what I say until the spell wears off!"

"No couples," the producer guy drawled, waving them off as his assistant ushered in a new group. "This is why."

Alex looked ready to hex the man, but oddly enough, she covered her mouth to stifle a laugh, eyes sparkling. Which made Justin want to pry her hand away and replace it with his lips.

Obviously, that would've crossed a line, spell or no spell, so he nodded a little at the producer and the assistant—both of whom barely noticed him—then dragged his sister outside. Which... frankly? He'd expected more of a fight. And some name calling. And some criminal activity.

"Are you okay?" he asked, guiding her through a mass of people, most of whom were lazing about with their guitars, waiting for their auditions.

"This is gonna suck without magic," she replied, and her tone was turning very plotty, so Justin stopped her and brought his face close to hers. Just to distract her from potentially setting the place on fire, of course.

"Fine, Alex," he sighed deeply. "_Burn_ is okay. I can pretend it has something to do with science. Ooh. Can we be the _Bunsen Burners_?"

Alex watched him for a long moment, expression unreadable.

"Justin," she said finally, in a way that made him want to run away a little.

"Hm?"

She gestured vaguely at the crowded hallway. "There are a lot of boys here."

"Yes, and?"

"And you should kiss me."

Justin thought he heard something burst in his brain. Probably a blood vessel. "What?"

She looked perfectly innocent and sounded totally logical when she said, "I'm an elf. If they think I'm single, they won't leave me alone."

Funny, 'cause the guys didn't seem all that interested in her, which was kinda weird, sure, but there were other things Justin needed to focus on. Like:

"I CAN'T KISS YOU. ARE YOU CRAZY?"

Oh, great. _Now_ the guys seemed interested.

Alex's cool expression cracked a bit, and Justin felt a tug low in his belly. "No. I mean. Um." His hands gripped her shoulders, and he faced her directly. "Just because I can't control myself 'cause of the spell doesn't make this not wrong!"

She cocked her head curiously. Tiny demon horns would've completed the look. "You can't control yourself...?" She frowned, pondering. "And wasn't that, like, a triple negative?"

...he couldn't kiss her.

She was his sister. The spell was going to wear off eventually and then where would he be? Sure, he'd sort of wanted to kiss her during the tournament, but only because he'd forgotten who she was.

And yeah, he'd maybe thought about it once, when they'd been shivering in front of that campfire. And well, yes, that one time when she'd wished him back and told him she'd given up her powers. But those were going to be chaste kisses, okay. _Thank you for everything; don't die_ type of stuff. Not _She's mine, back off_ type of stuff.

Several of the boys cleared their throats, clearly expecting a show, so Justin tried to use something that never failed him. Logic.

"Alex, why do you want me to kiss you?" he asked with a groan.

"Ew," she countered instantly, making a face. "I don't. It's... um, self-preservation, Justin."

Logic was kind of a traitor.

"Can't we just _leave_?"

She studied him for a moment, then narrowed her eyes, and punched his arm. "Fine. But I'm going to tell the rest of the elves."

He opened his mouth to protest, but his phone went off. He fished around in his pocket for a bit, then narrowed his eyes. The call had gone straight to voicemail, so he huddled around the phone, turning his back on Alex.

"Don't look," he told her. "I have to put in my password."

"Is it _password_?" she guessed, peeking over his shoulder.

Boy, Justin hoped the spell would wear off soon, 'cause all this grinning was giving him indigestion.

"Let me listen," he shushed her, phone pressed to his ear. "Confirmation for... an underground art event... tomorrow?"

"Oh," she said and stopped trying to paw his cell phone closed. "I volunteered you for that."

It was hard to argue when she was pressed up against him, but he tried anyway. "That doesn't... Alex, the very definition of the word volunteer..." Her fingers curled over his heart. Which was racing wildly. "Um."

"Are you mad at me, Justin?" she asked, looking up at him through thick eyelashes.

"No," he replied automatically.

"Aw," she said, one corner of her lips tugging upward. "I like it when you're mad at me."

No, seriously, was this part of the spell? Did elves generally try to seduce their brothers? 'Cause he was pretty sure he would have read about that somewhere.

Not that his little sister was trying to seduce him. She was Alex. She didn't know a thing about that kind of stuff. He hoped.

"If you're not mad at me," she said, watching him like he was edible, "buy me lunch."

Oh. So, yeah. She was just hungry. Good. Great. He wasn't at all disappointed.

"Curly fries and a chocolate milkshake?" he smirked, resigned.

She stared for longer than necessary, then pounced on his back, pushing the guitar case out of the way. "Whipped cream on the bottom," she sighed into his neck. Her cheek pressed against his.

He shifted, testing her weight, then adjusted his hold on her and ignored the thumbs up people kept sending his way. "Is that on your list?"

Her grip tightened around his neck. The corner of her lips rubbed perilously close to his. "Yes, Justin."

His knees buckled. But only a little. Because she was heavy or whatever.

"Alex—" he started, turning his head a little.

One slow slide of lips later, she was kissing him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Note**: Drive-by update because NaNoWriMo is eating my life.

Also, I love you all, and thanks.

*

Justin wasn't a good liar.

Lying gave him stress-related symptoms, hives, and an impeding sense of doom.

He was also not great under pressure. If this had been an interrogation, he would have confessed immediately, while Alex would've cracked in roughly... never.

So Justin just sat at the dinner table, obsessing. Unless he'd been hallucinating for the past few hours, he'd _actually_ skipped school and, you know, made out with his sister a little. And honestly, he wasn't quite sure which fact concerned him more.

Okay. The kissing. The kissing was probably more of a demerit.

"So, you kissed your sister," Jerry nodded, peeling the skin off his drumstick.

Justin almost cracked a tooth on his fork, biting down on a strangled, "WHAT."

Jerry scrunched up his face. "I said, 'How was school?' "

Alex's knee slammed into Justin's under the table. "Fun."

Theresa narrowed her eyes. "...did you _go_ to school, Alex?"

Alex waved a nonchalant hand, taking a sip of Justin's juice. "Hey, I was with Justin all day," she announced as though she were a candidate for sainthood, "and you know _he_ went to school." Off Theresa's skeptical look, she added, "Yeah, come on, Mom. You know I totally went to school, pssh."

Theresa turned bright eyes to Justin, saying something that sounded suspiciously like, "So, mi hijo, why did you kiss your sister?" but was probably 'Pass the salt,' in reality.

Justin's throat closed around a chunk of chicken.

"Oh, honey," Theresa gushed, leaning over to feel his forehead, "are you feeling—"

"I didn't kiss her!" he jumped up, taking the tablecloth—and most of dinner—with him.

"Alex," Jerry grumbled dangerously, chicken drumstick stuck midair, "what did you do?"

"What your father means," Theresa translated, then scrunched up one side of her face. "Actually, Alex, what _did_ you do?"

Alex gave them an exasperated look. "Daddy," she whined, mourning her ruined dinner, "it's a side-effect of that, um, spell we practiced yesterday. He's... you know... hearing... things?"

"We haven't had class since Tuesday," Max corrected, silently eulogizing his plate.

"_Since when do you pay attention_?" she hissed quietly, bringing her face to Max's.

Max took a tentative bite of his now soggy chicken. "Uh, since you threatened to turn me into a girl if I told Ju—"

Alex rose quickly, slapping her hands carelessly over Max's mouth. "Ha! Okay, well, you know, this was great—awesome potatoes, Mom—but wow, look at the time."

Jerry looked at the nearest clock. "It's seven."

Alex faked a yawn and stretched her arms high above her head. "Justin. I need some help with... homework. Upstairs." Her lips thinned. "Now."

Justin, who'd basically been comatose for the last few minutes, shifted nervously. "Since when do you do homew—oh. Sure. Okay. Homework."

He let his sister drag him upstairs as his parents' voices drifted behind:

"...should we worry?"

"Yes, but let's not."

*

"Are you _stupid_?"

Justin's back hit Alex's mattress.

Yeah, okay, he needed to run away, and fast. Otherwise, his next destination would be a nicely furnished casket. Because the guilt was totally killing him.

"You kissed me," he said instead, sort of like he wasn't entirely sure if he had imagined that whole incident or not. Like, how'd he even get home? What day was it anyway?

Casually, Alex crossed her arms, looming above him. "Did I?"

Justin closed his mouth with difficulty.

Alex sat down next to him, looking perfectly unperturbed. "Technically, Justin, you kissed me."

Justin sat up. "Uh, no, I'm pretty sure I'd never kiss you."

Her eyes narrowed. "You're under a spell," she said, though it sounded more like a command. "You have an excuse."

_And you don't_, he wanted to say, but thought acknowledging something like that would mean he'd acquired a raging death wish. "Okay, Alex," he rolled his eyes, glancing away and giving in. "_I_ kissed _you_."

'Cause look, he'd kissed mops and sandals and soccer balls, so kisses meant nothing.

Except for the part where his lips felt kinda weird. He kept wanting to press them against something. Like maybe Alex's lips.

...there were just so many, many things wrong with that idea.

"You told me to do it," he lied, hoping she'd play along, "so I did."

She stiffened next to him, averting her eyes. "Nah, I don't use my powers for evil."

"Since when?" Justin snorted, turning to look at her profile.

And then he found himself pushing her down on the bed.

"Justin..." she murmured, blinking up at him.

His blood evaporated, leaving him wide-eyed and seriously confused. "...spell."

Her eyes met his. "Yep. Spell. 'Cause it totally didn't wear off. Yup."

Okay, so, logically, this was okay. The elf thing was overwhelming him, and obviously it was somehow affecting Alex, too, so Justin needed to fix it before their parents had him committed.

Surely more making out would do just that.

He bent his back, brought his neck down, and parted his lips.

"You smell like chicken," she complained, but wedged her knee between his.

"Ground rules," he breathed, "I'm doing what you want, so you can't make fun of me."

Her lips curled a little.

And Justin realized she really did want him to kiss her.

"Why?"

She frowned beneath him. "Why what?"

"I know why _I'm_, um, acting weird," he said, suddenly coming to his senses... but failing to move off of her. "Why are _you_?"

She hesitated for a moment, pursing her lips. "Look, just kiss me one more time," she ordered, then apparently felt the need to add, "I should be the one weirded out by this, Justin. Because ew—you're a giant dork."

"...and your brother," he pointed out, eyes fixed on her lips.

"And my brother, whatever," she agreed, cheeks darkening.

Yeah, that totally answered none of his questions. For a moment, Justin wondered whether Alex had switched brains with Harper again. 'Cause, really, even after werewolves, centaurs, and vampires, the last girl he'd expected to like him was—

"Alex," he said, slowly untangling himself and sliding off the bed. "I need to go find a way to turn you back."

Alex sent the ceiling a glare, making a frustrated little noise.

In turn, Justin practically flew downstairs.

*

Okay.

There were no potions to de-elf someone. There was no rhyming little poem. No information in any of the dusty tomes lining the lair's shelves.

"This can't be right."

Bleary-eyed, Max looked up from a thick book, wiping drool off his cheek. "I'm not sleeping!"

Justin refocused on a particularly messy page, brushing off a piece of old cheese. "Max, please think. What kind of spell did you use?"

Max gave a great big yawn, thumping his head back down onto the desk. "Dunno. It was purple."

Justin rubbed one eye, twitching. "Okay. Where did you learn it?"

Smacking his lips, Max balanced his chin on the table, pointing in Justin's general direction. "Here. Somewhere."

Exasperated, Justin slammed his book closed. "Max, you don't understand," he urged, voice laced with desperation. "I want to... _date_ her."

"Who?"

"ALEX."

"Oh. Yeah, that _is_ kinda weird," Max nodded, pondering. "I mean, she's not even nice."

"...she's also my _sister_."

"Eh." Max hopped off his chair, inching toward the exit. "I kinda feel like there was something I was supposed to tell you..."

Justin looked up hopefully.

"...oh, yeah!" Max snapped his fingers. "Sorry, I can't tell you," he fretted. "Alex would kill me. Probably literary."

"Literally."

"What you said."

Justin rose, coaxing, "Well, I _am_ CPR-certified, Max—"

"Good night!"

And just like that, Max bailed, and Justin was left to stare at his shoes.

So, instead of wallowing, Justin tidied up, shed his sweater, and collapsed into the nearest chair.

He needed sleep. He had that art thing tomorrow... with Alex. And he had school. With Alex. He almost wanted to go up to her room and offer to carry her books, but you know. Alex and books were mutually exclusive.

Great. He was itchy and restless and sort of really eager to see his sister. Even though he'd seen her only a few hours ago. Stretched out on her bed, wriggling beneath him.

And before Justin knew what was happening, his feet were carrying him out of the lair and up the spiral staircase, as though they were on a very special mission.

Sure, he was under a spell, but kissing his sister was bad. Using magic irresponsibly before he possibly lost it was almost okay. Starting a band was good, too. These things could be justified. Wanting to introduce his sister as his girlfriend... to his parents... not exactly brilliant or acceptable.

If he just stayed in his room, he'd be okay. He just needed to wait it out. Yeah. He was going to wait it out.

His fingers turned the knob, and the door creaked open. His bed was crammed in one corner of his laboratory-slash-bedroom, so he blindly made a beeline for it, toeing off his shoes as he went. His shirt and belt were next.

And then his eyes focused.

"Cover your shame, Justin!" Alex yelped, covering her eyes.

Justin stumbled back, hastily clutching his discarded shirt to his chest. "Get out of my bed!"

Alex peeked through her fingers. "Pfft, yeah, what part of 'I like torturing you' was unclear?" Her gaze lingered on his chest longer than necessary. "So. I'm going to sleep here tonight."

Justin was pretty sure he knew how to form words, but none seemed willing to fall off his lips.

"With you."

One day, Justin would learn how to tell Alex no.

That day would not be today.


	5. Chapter 5

**Note**: You guys leave the best reviews. I don't even know what to do with myself when I read them. Except, you know. Write more.

(One chapter left.)

*

He'd meant to take a bath.

Brush his teeth, iron his socks, _floss_.

Seriously, he really had planned to go to bed with a head full of spells. Not Alex.

"Stop squirming," she told the ceiling.

Paralyzed with fear, Justin blinked. "You stole the mouths out of my word."

She stilled for a moment, then snorted, not looking at him. "Yeah, okay."

Slowly, Justin licked his lips. He was lying next to his sister—his _elf_ sister—and it was the most awkward experience known to modern man. They were both on their backs, in their pajamas, atop the covers, staring at a particularly invisible spot on the ceiling, and it was all totally innocent, 'cause, look, siblings shared beds all the time, like, in developing countries, and—

"I'm going to sleep on the floor, Alex."

She kicked him, hard. "You'll stay right where you are."

"You know," he grumbled, sensation returning to his limbs, "once this spell wears off, I _am_ going to pay you back."

She ignored him like he was homework. "Do you like anyone right now?"

His lungs collapsed. "NO. Why? What? Who told you?"

"Outside of the spell, I mean," she amended. Her hand dropped to her side, brushing slightly against his.

He quickly withdrew his arm and covered his face with it. "This isn't a _sleepover_, Alex," he groaned, "and I'm not Harper. We don't _do_ this... talking thing."

She shifted. "Yeah, well, this would be kinda weird if you were Harper."

_AND THIS ISN'T? _he wanted to protest, but her knee leisurely knocked against his, so he asked, quite nonchalantly, really: "...do _you_ like someone?"

She fluffed up her half of the pillow. "Yup."

Justin removed his arm from his face, his eyes automatically seeking hers. "Aside from yourself?"

Her lips twitched, distracting him. "Yeah," she gave a small shrug, casually slipping under the covers and averting her eyes. "I guess I sort of started crushing on this one guy during that stupid vacation thing we went on. Or something."

Justin narrowed his eyes. _Javier_.

Fine. Whatever. Javier was okay. Kinda old and sleazy and not at all okay, but you know. Whatever.

Justin curled up with a frown, turning his back to his sister.

"Aren't you cold?" she wheedled.

Justin contemplated for a moment, then lifted the covers with purpose and slid in next to her, addressing the ceiling, "Goodnight."

Yeah, like that was going to work.

"Justin."

He sighed. "Alex, if you're going to make me sleep with—NEXT to you—at least have the decency to—"

"Mom told me to date you."

"...what."

"Well," Alex said, staring at the ceiling. "You know. That one time when I... um, when the _genie_ made everyone forget about you." Her toes touched his ankle. "So."

Yes. Justin's life was weird. Sure, he was a wizard, yeah, but he was pretty sure most wizards didn't have mothers who were totally cool with their sons violating their daughters. Not that Justin wanted to violate anyone, least of all Alex—

"She said you were a good catch, pshh," Alex added, breaking the awkward silence. She'd scooted closer without him noticing, like some sort of depraved ninja. Haphazardly, she slung one leg between his, still lying flat on her back. "More like a charity case, am I right?"

Right.

With his luck, Alex's punishment for, like, accidentally seducing her big brother would be a hug or something.

So... maybe Justin could get away with it, too.

"Alex."

"Justin," she mocked.

He pressed his palm to her hipbone.

She gave a start, then relaxed beneath his fingers.

"Spell," he told her. "Doesn't count, okay."

She said nothing, but her lips found his shoulder.

Justin paused for a moment. "If it doesn't wear off by tomorrow," he promised into her messy bangs, "I think I'm going to do something really stupid."

"...or you could just do something stupid _now_, Justin," she encouraged with a frustrated little growl.

He didn't.

*

"What's wrong with Justin?"

Jerry glanced at Harper as Justin listlessly dragged himself downstairs. "What? There's nothing—_son_! What happened to you?"

Justin looked up, his eyes barely open. There were several human-shaped blurs before him, but he only vaguely recognized one. "_Thanks_, Mom."

Confused, Theresa placed a lunch bag on the counter. "...uh. You're welcome?"

Harper took a curious step forward, circling Justin. "I like this. Inside-out shirt," she nodded her approval. "You're such a trend-setter, Justin!"

Sleepy, Justin patted himself down. Yup. His shirt wasn't on properly. Neither was his brain.

"Oh, hey, peanut butter everything, alright!" Max cheered, rummaging through all the lunch bags.

"Yeah, well," Jerry grumbled, back hunched and eyes narrowed, pointing his spatula at a stack of jars, "we ordered too much of it, ALEX, and no one's buying it anymore, ALEX, so get ready to eat nothing but peanut butter for—ALEX."

Alex bounced down the stairs, radiating energy. "Who's ready for school? I'm totally ready for school!"

Expression blank, Theresa dropped one of the lunch bags. "Jerry..." she said.

"I'm on it," he replied, holding out a cautious hand. "Alex, what did you do?"

"Uh, I slept really great, Daddy?" Alex said innocently, and Justin wanted to sort of strangle her. And then marry her.

"Well. I would _love_ to stay and be interrogated," she called out over her shoulder, "but we're going to be late!" With that, she barreled toward the door, slowing down only to collect a dazed Justin.

"Um, Alex—" Harper started.

"Can't talk; exploiting Justin!"

"Of course you are! See you in P.E.!"

*

"Well, who told you not to sleep, you egghead?"

Justin sagged against his locker. He wanted to argue, but his mouth was dry and his brain was still seven sentences behind.

"Oh," she agreed, apparently taking pity on him. "Eat your breakfast, Justin." She crammed a slice of peanut buttered toast into his mouth, glanced about the hallway, probably scanning for Mr. Laritate, then slowly brought her lips closer to his. "...let me taste, too."

Justin jerked awake instantly, backing into his locker with a loud thump.

"There, you're awake," she smiled wickedly, patting his shirt pocket. "Don't forget the art thing tonight."

*

"Aw, Russo," some smarmy guy whined, "why'd you bring your boyfriend?"

Alex grinned as though she'd secretly been born with hooves and a pitchfork. "You said to bring a date."

"I meant me, Russo."

Justin bit back several spells that would efficiently turn this blockhead into... well, a headless block. "Can we go?"

Alex sidled up to him, gesturing at the low-ceilinged tunnel. "You volunteered for this."

Both sides of the tracks were littered with paint buckets, and Justin briefly contemplated dunking his head in one to end his suffering. Not only was he, apparently, dating his sister, he'd also not gotten a wink of sleep _and_ almost failed four of his exams. His professors were probably still freaking out, holed up in an emergency meeting or something.

This was honestly the ultimate form of torture, and clearly, Alex had figured it out. And even more obviously, she would never stop.

Justin momentarily wished an actual train would roar through so he could throw himself in front of it, then hung his head in defeat, whispering into Alex's ear: "Alex, please."

Alex paused, not looking at him. "You're ruining all my plans."

Irrationally cranky, Justin pointed at the nearest piece of underground art. "Me? You?" he spluttered incoherently. "I was going to write books! And robots! Sleep!"

Even in the dim light, Justin could see Alex's mouth harden. "And I thought we were going to ace the audition yesterday. If we had, everything would've been okay, okay?" She stopped abruptly, lowering her voice. " 'Cause, in a few years, it won't be okay, Justin."

Justin's heart constricted painfully.

"_How do you not get this already_?" she mumbled under her breath. "In a few years," she continued, exasperated, "at least one of us won't have any magic in our lives, so I just wanted to make sure you'd... you know. Stay with me forever or something. Whatever. Just go home." She spun on her heel, marching away from him.

...Justin was tired. And he was done. He was done fighting Alex, and the spell, and himself.

He caught her elbow, the soles of his shoes catching on the corroded tracks.

A smug grin played about his lips. "Are you calling me _magical_, Alex?"

She froze, turning her head slightly to squint at him. "Are you hallucinating?"

"Possibly," he nodded, indicating at his chest with a wide smile.

"Ugh, no, Justin," she complained even as she stepped into his arms, "don't wreck this with hugging."

His arms wrapped around her, and okay, fine, he really wanted this. He wanted his sister. Which was probably the most normal thing about his life.

"Are people staring?" she grumbled, voice muffled by his shirt.

He tightened his grip involuntarily. "It's dark, Alex. No one can see."

"In that case..." she told his chest, then promptly pushed him into a darkened alcove between two murals.

Heart hammering within his ribcage, Justin tentatively rested his hands on her hips... well. The small of her back, actually. "Look, Alex... that stupid thing I was going to do—"

"Just do it, Justin," she ordered impatiently, looking all sorts of flushed and adorable.

So, on impulse, he cupped her face and touched his lips to hers.

She kissed back and yeah, Justin sort of mentally thanked every elf in the universe, and magic, and his parents, and Max. Especially Max.

"_Finally_," Alex sighed, clutching his shirt. Her hips pressed against his, making his brain kind of blood-free.

She could sleep in his room if she wanted, okay. Forever. And she could introduce him as her boyfriend. Even to Grandma. He didn't care. Admitting it felt almost liberating, and, though he would never tell her this, even under duress, he didn't actually want to do this with anyone else.

But...

"Alex," he murmured, pausing for breath, "what are we gonna do when the spell wears off?"

Alex stared at him for a moment, cheeks dark and eyes bright.

"I don't know, Justin," she admitted. " 'Cause I haven't been an elf in..." she checked Justin's watch, "...three days."


End file.
